Unlocking Our Love
On a normal day, I’d ask you how you’re doing, but we spoke just a few minutes ago over a FaceTime call so I know you’re doing okay. I know this isn't 'normal', but it is the new normal for us, isn't it? I thought writing about you would help me feel closer to you . . . so here goes nothing. You're turning 25, and the last time we met was my birthday this year. Just knowing that we've gone so long without seeing each other feels like a heartache I am not capable of handling. We haven’t met in 6 months. That’s half a year of us not being together, half a year of us not doing the weirdest of things that would make even our best friends judge us! Half a year of no burp competitions or late night movies or long drives. Half a year of not getting drunk together, of not holding hands when no one’s watching, of you not scaring the life out of me by hiding behind doors and half a year of me not being supremely mad at you for scaring me. When we met about 4 years ago, I didn’t think we would make it this far. I didn’t think I would ever be ready to be in a relationship. But here we are. We were in a long distance relationship for a year but we never stayed apart for so long. You’d come and meet me on the 18th of every month, and I came to visit you in Mumbai. I genuinely thought that was the most difficult year of my life, if only I knew this day would come!
Honestly, I don’t need you and I know you don’t need me. But I know for a fact that we both want to be with each other and that has to count, doesn’t it?
On that note, I’d like to say a few things that I will deny of ever having said to you if you bring it up in public. Firstly, thank you for putting in so much effort for every anniversary and for showering me with love and presents (you know I love them). I truly appreciate every single thing you’ve ever done for me. Be it pushing me to be better or telling me how much you love me.
Secondly, I’m so grateful to have the pleasure of knowing a person like you and having you love the heck out of me. You’re honest, fierce, weird and absolutely annoying, but that’s what I love about you. You’re unfiltered. You have been my support system through these years, you have been the person I want to speak to, to begin my day and at the end of a hard day. You have made me look forward to my future; our future. We’ve been through so much together and we’ve come a long way from what we were before. We have grown, as individuals and as a team. Trust me, I’ll always be on yours. You’ve taught me so many things in life - perseverance, integrity, hard work; and I hope you’ve learnt a thing or two from me, although I’m not sure if there's anything to learn!
I respect you for your work and I love you for who you are (most of the time). But I adore you for your irritating habits, your childish tantrums, your weirdness and your ability to be the most annoying yet loveable person in the room. You're like a child who finds happiness in the smallest of things - a tight hug, a quick kiss, maybe some Old Monk, or just a simple 'I love you'.
Looking back, I realise that we’ve come a long way and we have a much longer way to go. I cannot wait to overcome every milestone with you, stronger than ever. I cannot wait to finish my graduation and have you present at my graduation ceremony. I can’t wait to finish my post graduation and have you around. I can’t wait to get my first job and have you hype me up. I cant wait to adopt a dog with you. I can't wait for us to be successful and happy. I can’t wait to live our lives, just you and me. Most importantly, I can’t wait to be with you - every second of every day.
You are perhaps the best thing that has happened to me, and without you, I’d be lost and alone, which I know now I’m not. You have been there, despite everything, despite all the fall-outs and stupid arguments. I'm here to stay and I hope you are too. You are love and you are family. I’m honoured to be your girlfriend, I’m honoured to be in your life and I’m honoured to have you in mine. You are my worst critic and my closest ally. You truly are my happiness and my hope. You are my most favourite person in the whole world, my best friend and the love of my life.
Soon you're going to turn 25 and I'm finally going to get to see you, and god, am I excited! A very very happy birthday to you, PD. I can't wait to see you and go on a long drive with you and get mad at you, because you stress me out by asking me to navigate; but this, I imagine, would be the best way to spend my weekend!