The illusion called Love
By Dhrti Agrawal
For most people in this world, love is what happens in rom-coms and romantic novels. The kind of love that we all crave for, is the one that ends with a ‘Happily ever after’. We have been taught by our movies and literature that this is what love should look like.
If we ask someone what is love, everyone will give a different answer. Therefore for us, the concept of love is the definition we favour the most. But, I believe that love cannot be defined, for it is purely a feeling that needs to be experienced. Whatever happens, happens at the moment. Even after the moment has passed, love cannot be defined, because every person has a different experience altogether.
For many beings, love is unconditional. For others, it’s all about trust. For some, it’s just physical, and yet for few, it’s about living together. They believe that love is all of this, and much more. But still, there is a portion of people, for whom love is just an illusion.
If one believes in the concept of love, then for them it does exist. No matter what form it takes, it's no longer an illusion then. Some might argue that if you are more attracted to the idea of 'love', you will believe it without questioning it. Because no matter how many times you analyse each and every aspect of it, or the number of books you may read and the films you may watch - when you hear a bell ring in your mind and your heart feels warm, you will know what exactly that feeling is. Whether your story has a happy ending or not, regardless of your significant other loving you back, you'll always go through this magical phase. Of course, love is fascinating and heartfelt, but just like two sides of the same coin, it comes with its own terms and conditions. This gives rise to the question of how to deal with its cons.
To explain this situation, let’s imagine a scenario, where you take care of your partner and devote your time to them. But your partner doesn’t put in the same amount of efforts as you. In that case, you might crave for some attention or care. You might feel a lack of care and love from your partner, leading you to creating different possibilities in your head. You might crave more, and expect more efforts from your partner. Which is fine, as long as it's a healthy need. It’s not a necessity, but it's okay if you want it urgently. Sometimes, you might feel selfish for even asking for efforts from their side. Many people feel that these acts of selfishness will create distance between the couple, but what they need to understand is that it's okay to demand so. Humans need to understand that it's completely natural to crave for love and attention. Everyone deserves to be happy.
The fact is, that self-love is one the most important elements of a healthy relationship. A relationship can never be successful if both the partners are not equally committed. Some days you might have to contribute more to the relationship, and likewise for your partner. The only requirement is for balance to be maintained. Therefore, self love per se does not make the idea of love seem like an illusion. It's only so, because this feeling cannot be formally defined. You can't explain it, see it or touch it, but you can definitely feel it.
When love comes knocking on your door, the aura around it also enters your life. This concept is so vague in itself, that you can never fully comprehend it. Extraordinary conditions feel unreal, and thereby we can say that love is an illusion. A beautiful one, that one can never fully grasp. Without this illusion, this experience is incomplete. It's the mystery behind this feeling, that makes it exceptional, unforgettable and phenomenal. You cannot define love, for love is an illusion of its own kind.